Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize