Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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