no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And then my night got REAL pukey
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
