I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
