Can i not drive my cunt home
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
