Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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