You really coming over, don't trick.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
