I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
