i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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