6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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