Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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