Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
