You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
