My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
