I wish my penis had an off switch
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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