if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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