Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
