Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
