How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
