is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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