He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
