I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
