I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
