last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
