Define "chronic" masturbator.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
