It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
