i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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