I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
