And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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