It's Friday. Sex?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
