I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
