it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
home. puking in laundry basket.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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