i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
whose parrot is this?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Randomize
