my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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