my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
