oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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