I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
