I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
