first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I need moral support for this bender
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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