real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
