you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
