i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
