i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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