Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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