no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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