You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
