forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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