Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
