atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize