you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
