The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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