it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
