All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My dick has a subreddit
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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