Where is the hickey?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he had hair everywhere except his balls
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
