On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
