make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
