Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize