he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
