I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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