Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
