I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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