Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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