oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize