Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
