So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
