I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
