can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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